What to expect?

What to expect? 

My career in mental health began in 2009 as a suicide counselor. After more than a decade of experience, the work naturally evolved toward something more philosophical, spiritual, and culturally sensitive. I do not believe there is anything intrinsically defective about anyone; rather, their neurodivergent characteristics or past experiences may create a misfit with their current environment. This belief led me to move away from traditional psychotherapy into coaching and consulting, a transition that better aligns with my natural strengths and the value I offer. To be clear: I am no longer registered as a therapist and work independently as a coach and consultant.

What I offer is strategic, insight-focused consulting that combines mental health understanding, philosophical depth, and systems thinking.

I have a rather direct communication style that balances candor with respect. My role is to illuminate patterns and possibilities you might not see from your current vantage point. I will share observations honestly and ask questions that might stretch your comfort zone.

While traditional therapy often focuses on exploring the past or ‘sitting with’ emotions, which I still believe is important and certainly forms a part of our work, we will also explore how to move past the stuck points and move forward in life. While we will create space for past trauma, family wounds, generational trauma, grief, and existential anguish, we will focus on developing clear insights and actionable direction.

Our work together will be tailored to your unique needs and thinking style. If you tend toward intellectualization, we may begin with logical analysis. If you are drawn to intuitive or creative approaches, we can incorporate art, symbolism, and elements from Jungian psychology and spiritual practices. Sometimes doing things in unfamiliar ways yields surprising outcomes, but ultimately the work should be attuned to what speaks most to you.

There is a unique power in having a relational space. Whilst you may initially find ‘taking up space’ (to have a free space just for you, to be heard and seen) challenging, I still hope you can eventually use our time together to express yourself freely and safely without overly editing yourself- something you may not have been able to do in other areas of your life or during your childhood. I know it can be hard to step outside of your comfort zone, but it may be necessary to break through the barriers that have been holding you back. I hope that we will find the right rhythm that allows for both comfort and growth in our work together.

The work is informed by diverse frameworks, including Existentialism, Stoicism, Jungian theories, Eastern philosophies such as Daoism and Buddhism, as well as traditional psychoanalytic and contemporary research in neurobiology and attachment theory. For more on the theoretical frameworks informing this approach, see the section on Philosophy and Theory below.

My role is that of a guide and partner on your journey. We will openly share ideas, observations, and insights, but you will always be in control of the direction we take. My goal is to empower you with the clarity and confidence to take charge of your life.

The Roadmap

Although the process is often organic and non-linear, categorizing the change process into the following phases might help clarify what happens:

Mapping Your Patterns

We begin by understanding the challenges that prevent you from fully embracing your best self. We will work to identify old survival strategies, behaviors, and thinking patterns that no longer serve you.

You may carry wounds from being told you were “too much,” “too dramatic,” “too intense,” “too sensitive.” You may have developed self-sabotaging behaviors or beliefs like “People will leave me when they see the real me.” You might have been parentified, put into the role of caring for your own parents emotionally or practically. You may struggle with an internalized sense of shame and a relentless inner critic.

You might have encountered terms like “defenses,” “schemas,” “life traps,” or “negative automatic thoughts” in previous therapy. I simply call them blockages. We will work to make them visible, examining how they show up in your thoughts, your body, and your relationships.

Integration

Once we see the patterns clearly, we work to understand and integrate them. The goal is not to eliminate or suppress these parts of yourself, but to embrace your shadows with understanding. We will explore the aspects of yourself that express as undisciplined, rageful, or self-destructive, working to understand the underlying needs driving these behaviors. We may work with your inner critic, transforming harsh judgment into something more useful.

We will also work on expanding your “window of tolerance” for feelings, so you are less easily triggered into states of hyper-arousal (acute stress, rage, panic) or under-arousal (dissociation, numbness, emptiness). Part of this work involves coming to terms with the unavoidable givens of human existence: that things are constantly changing, life is not always fair, losses and death are part of life, and we cannot control everything.

Lasting change requires more than intellectual understanding; it requires embodied experience. Depending on what resonates with you, we may use guided imagery, journaling, mindful movement, or creative exercises to access what thinking alone cannot reach.

Repressed Anger: The Highly Sensitive Person and Anger

Building Forward

This phase focuses on developing a resilient sense of self across four dimensions:

Practical: Navigating burnout, boundaries, workplace dynamics, procrastination, relationship with money, and career alignment. Reconnecting with your sense of power and healing from imposter syndrome or fear of success.

Emotional: Developing a working relationship with your emotions. Having the courage to feel and to love without being overtaken by emotional storms or excessive fear of abandonment. Weathering difficulty with the faith that you will bounce back.

Interpersonal: Being “skillfully authentic,” allowing your real self to be seen without prematurely exposing yourself when it is not safe to do so. Recognizing toxic dynamics like envy and passive aggression. Finding where you are celebrated, not just tolerated. Experiencing relationships as enriching rather than draining or threatening.

Spiritual: Cultivating trust in life’s unfolding. Clarifying your relationship to meaning, purpose, and existence. Coming to terms with impermanence.

Living Forward

I believe you have a unique and valuable place in the world. As you become more grounded, questions about meaning, purpose, and existence will naturally surface. We will explore them together, not to find definitive answers, but to help you clarify your perspective and build a life that honors your values.

You may have multiple callings; you do not need to restrict yourself to one. The path forward is often less about striving and more about allowing, aligning your actions with the natural rhythms of your being, freeing your energy to flow without inner conflict. There can be a sense that the work is being done not “by you” but “through you.”

There is no need to feel deflated if some of these milestones seem unreachable right now. Emotional healing and spiritual maturity are lifelong paths. People’s lives change as they progress in their own stages of self-realization.

In a Nutshell

Our goals include:

1. Knowing your patterns well enough to catch yourself when old survival strategies take over.
2. Recognizing and working with your emotions as they arise.
3. Staying connected with others while remaining true to yourself.
4. Being empathic without losing your boundaries.
5. Knowing your unique strengths and living accordingly.

– Joseph Campbell 

 

There will be days when you feel too alone, your baggage feels too heavy, and the journey seems too long. These are the times to focus on nothing but the next smallest step, simply putting one foot in front of the other.

Philosophy and Theories

Existentialism, Philosophical Counseling and Coaching

Philosophical counseling emphasizes the individual’s search for meaning and purpose in life. This approach encourages you to confront buried existential angst, empowering you to make choices that align with your values and create a more fulfilling existence. My approach to existential therapy and coaching draws from the rich tradition of existentialist thought, including the work of philosophers like Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre, and de Beauvoir. I utilize a hermeneutic lens, focusing on your unique lived experience and how you create meaning in a world often perceived as meaningless. Together, we explore your anxieties surrounding freedom, isolation, and mortality, empowering you to navigate these challenges and craft a life that deeply resonates with your values. This approach goes beyond simply managing symptoms; it’s about understanding the questions of existence and creating a life of authenticity and purpose. For a more comprehensive explanation of what this looks like, please see here where I also expanded on the idea of existential dread. 

Buddhism and Daoism

Beyond Western existentialism, I also find profound value in Eastern philosophies, particularly Buddhism and Daoism—not as religious doctrines, but as potent philosophical frameworks. For example, we may explore the idea of ‘effortless action’, a powerful antidote to our modern “hustle culture” that encourages alignment with life’s natural flow rather than constant striving. Daoist philosopher Zhuangzi’s playful paradoxes offer a unique perspective on freedom as liberation from fixed perspectives and societal expectations, often resonating deeply with those who feel like misfits in society, the non-conformist thinkers, and many gifted adults.  While I approach counseling from a philosophical perspective, I also find value in the insights of Buddhist psychology. We may explore concepts like “no-self” (anatman) and “emptiness,” not as religious tenets, but as tools for understanding the nature of experience and finding liberation from anxieties around identity. These ideas, along with Buddhist teachings on compassion and mindfulness, can offer a path to greater freedom and peace, regardless of one’s religious background. You are welcome here, regardless of your faith or beliefs. These Eastern insights complement and enrich the existential exploration of meaning, purpose, and authentic living.

Psychodynamic Theories

Being ‘psychodynamic in my thinking’, means I believe in getting to the roots of your current challenges and the power of insights as a proponent for change. We want to create a space for you to explore how you might be projecting ideas from the past onto your current relationships and how that affects how others relate to you. We will look at some survival strategies you have adopted and see how they have served you and how they may hold you back. For example, do you sabotage relationships so others can’t abandon you? Do you tend to withdraw and disengage when there is conflict? Do you suppress certain feelings and use self-numbing or addictive behaviors to cope? Do you act in an extra people-pleasing way when you are angry? By freeing you from emotional burdens from the past, it is hoped that you will free up energy that can be used to reach your creative potential in the future.

Please note that I may use psychodynamic theories to understand your past and present, but I do not practice classical psychoanalysis. It will not be a ‘blank-slate approach. (This is when the therapist holds back from facial expressions or saying anything to encourage projections from the client)  I will provide feedback and insights, and we will have a back-and-forth. Sometimes, if I think it would benefit you, I may disclose something about myself, and you will get to know more about me.

Jungian Theories

Jungian psychology offers a framework for understanding the complexities of your inner world, especially if you’re grappling with questions of identity, purpose, and meaning. It’s particularly relevant if you’re feeling lost and disconnected from yourself, struggling with existential anxieties, or facing challenges like self-sabotage, perfectionism, or a sense of unfulfillment.

The concept of the Persona speaks directly to the experience of feeling like you’re wearing a mask, presenting a polished facade to the world while hiding your true feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps you’ve become so accustomed to playing a role – the dutiful employee, the perfect parent, the successful entrepreneur – that you’ve lost touch with who you are beneath the surface. Jungian work helps you explore these masks, understand their origins, and reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve hidden away. This can be particularly powerful for those navigating a midlife crisis.

The Shadow represents the disowned aspects of yourself, the qualities you reject or repress out of fear, shame, or societal disapproval. These hidden parts can manifest in various ways – procrastination, perfectionism, self-criticism, addictive behaviors, or difficulty forming genuine connections. Jungian shadow work isn’t about conquering or eliminating these aspects, but about understanding and integrating them. By bringing these hidden parts into the light of consciousness, you can reclaim your wholeness and transform these challenging patterns into sources of strength and creativity.

The journey of Individuation is at the heart of Jungian psychology. Exploration in this realm helps you differentiate yourself from the collective, understand your unique psychological makeup, and realize your potential. This path is especially relevant for those struggling with existential questions, searching for meaning and purpose in a world that can often feel meaningless. Individuation isn’t about achieving some idealized version of yourself, but about embracing your wholeness, including your imperfections and limitations.

Through techniques like dream analysis, active imagination, and exploring the symbolic language of your emotions, we can access the wisdom of your unconscious and uncover the hidden patterns and beliefs that are shaping your experiences. This journey of self-discovery can be challenging, but it’s also deeply rewarding. (For more on Jung, here are my interviews with Jungian Analyst James Hollis and Gary Trosclair.)

Stoicism

Stoicism, a philosophy born in ancient Greece, offers a powerful framework for navigating the complexities of modern life. I am particularly drawn to Marcus Aurelius and his profound compassion for humanity, which, like loving-kindness in Buddhism, can actually be a powerful antidote to many our personal angsts.  His Meditations serve as a constant reminder of the importance of inner peace, self-awareness, and living in accordance with nature. Like Aurelius, I believe that true strength lies not in dominating external circumstances, but in cultivating inner resilience and living a life of virtue.

Drawing on the wisdom of figures like Epictetus, Seneca, and the founders of the school, Zeno of Citium and Cleanthes, we can explore how Stoic principles can empower you to cultivate resilience, inner peace, and a life of meaning. Epictetus’s dichotomy of control, much like the Serenity Prayer, provides a powerful tool for discerning where to invest our energy.

In Stoic coaching, we might examine how to reframe challenging situations, recognizing that our perceptions and interpretations, not the events themselves, are often the source of our suffering. By cultivating the ‘cardinal virtues’ of wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance, you can develop a strong inner foundation that allows you to flourish regardless of external circumstances. Stoicism doesn’t promise a life free from hardship, but rather a life lived with wisdom and deep strength.

Systemic and Family System Theories

Psychodynamic theories help us understand what is happening inside of us, but we deal not only with the intra-psychic but also the interpersonal. This is when System theories come in. The fact is that we do live amongst others, so how relationships play out in different groups (family, friendship groups, workplace, political and cultural systems) will inevitably have an impact.

For example, as a sensitive and intense person, you might have been unconsciously ‘elected’ by your family to take on the role of a caretaker, the ‘capable one” who is not allowed to break down. Or, on the contrary, you were framed as the family scapegoat or black sheep. These roles would have impacted your view of yourself and your ability to achieve happiness and success today.

Taking on a system theory perspective, we will identify deeply entrenched patterns in your relationships and the role you have taken on within systems. Usually, we carry one set of patterns and apply that to most aspects of our lives, so understanding your family dynamic, for example, may help us resolve problems in your work and your marriage.

 

How Often Do We Meet?

I do not have a fixed rule about the frequency of our meetings.

The old gold standard of having weekly (or more frequent) sessions is arbitrary and does not reflect authentic and unique individual needs. Yes, sometimes, having some regularity can help us settle into an emotional rhythm. However, a weekly set-time schedule may seem undoable in our fast-moving modern world, where you might already feel stretched in multiple directions with financial, life, and work demands.

If we were to meet less frequently, I might offer certain ‘reflection prompts,’ specific homework or exercises so that the work continues in-between sessions.

In the initial stages, many find it beneficial to have sessions every two weeks or weekly as it helps build trust and deepen the understanding between us. However, this frequency can be adjusted as we progress in the coaching process.

When it comes to the frequency of our coaching sessions, it can be likened to going to the gym for a physical workout. Just as we train our muscles regularly at the gym, the effects are not immediate. It takes time, typically around a month or so, to feel the benefits and witness changes from within.

 

How do we meet?

We will meet online via Zoom. I work with people from around the world and will always work to accommodate time differences.

My practice began as “Eggshell Therapy” in Southwest London, later moved to the Chelsea and Kensington district, and is now fully online.

*Since this is coaching and consulting rather than therapy, it complements but does not replace mental health treatment. If you are currently experiencing significant mental health challenges, please ensure that you do have appropriate professional support alongside our work together.

 

How much?

It will be GBP 180 per session.

After booking the first session, you will receive an email confirmation with all the logistical details.

Using a credit or debit card, you can book your session with a secure online process.

With less than 24-hour notice, my cancellation policy is to collect the agreed amount of payment.

 

For how long?

The duration very much depends on what you are after. Some people just want one or a few coaching sessions/ consultations for specific issues, others sign up for a course of 8-10 sessions, or longer-term, open-ended work.

I understand your desire to see changes fast. You may have read online or in books that there is no ‘quick fix’ for the particular issue you face. This may be true, but it is entirely possible to attain deep insights or experience rapid shifts in a short period of time. These shifts can then be consolidated via other means, such as less-frequent follow-up sessions, books, email support from me, or being around the right people in your life.  Our goal is to effectively equip you with the needed insights and capacity, so you can be free to live a full life as soon as possible.

I encourage you to trust your instinct and your ability to discern. If you decide halfway through that it doesn’t work for you, you have the full right to withdraw, and I will respect your decision.

If you are ready to do this work, I look forward to hearing from you!

 

Click here to contact Imi

 

 

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