Have you been told that you ‘see too much’, ‘hear too much’, ‘think too much’, ‘feel too much’?
Hello, and welcome.
This is a website written for people who are emotionally intense and sensitive.
Emotional Intensity, Sensitivity, and Giftedness are blessings. They may not feel like a gift at times, but with skills and awareness, you can learn to harness your strengths.
We live in a culture that does not fully understand or embrace this unique trait; intense and passionate individuals are told that they are ‘too much’, ‘too sensitive’, ‘too overbearing’, ‘too dramatic’, or ‘too emotional’. Many find themselves being misunderstood, plagued by shame or self-judgment, and not being able to reach their full potential.
My goal as a coach is to help you answer these questions:
Is there something wrong with me?
How does being emotionally intense explain my life?
How do I fulfill my potential?
Emotional Intensity, Sensitivity, and Giftedness:
Do You Feel and Live Intensely?
Emotional Intensity can be expressed and experienced in different ways, for a full description, see here.
You feel a constant stream of both positive and negative feelings — pain, despair, fear, excitement, love, happiness.
Sometimes, feelings can become so powerful and compelling that you feel out of control.
On the flip side, you can be flooded by joy, be deeply moved by art, beauty, and have bursts of creative insights.
You are naturally excitable and passionate— even if you don’t show it on the outside.
In a social situation, you feel you ‘absorb’ other people’s emotions, and can be overwhelmed by stimuli, noises, or information you perceive.
Your psychological distress is sometimes expressed in the body —migraine headaches, allergies, asthma, and panic attacks.
You form strong emotional attachments to people, places, and things, or finding separation difficult from a young age.
You are sensitive to unspoken social nuances and relational dynamics. Even this overwhelms you, you cannot ‘un-see’ things, and you intensely dislike dishonesty, inauthentic people, and situations.
Being acutely aware of the suffering, hypocrisies, and complexities of life, you may constantly feel older than others around you, like an ‘old soul’ that has somehow lost his/her roots.
You are highly driven and can be ‘perfectionistic’, which can be expressed as chronic anxiety and restlessness.
You have incessant internal dialogues and thoughts.
You live with existential angst, a sense of urgency, an impulse to move forward, and a constant need to learn and explore.
You experience existential depression over the meaninglessness of life, death, and loneliness.
You have been diagnosed/ misdiagnosed with mental illnesses such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or ADHD.
Challenges for Emotionally Intense, Highly Sensitive and Gifted People
The focus of our work is on helping you resolve the following negative patterns that seem to happen again and again in your life:
Extreme and unpredictable mood swings, feeling like you are always on the verge of losing control.
Shame, sensitivity to criticism and rejection, over-reacting in some situations.
Perfectionism, burn-out or ‘bore-out’ at work, chronically restless, unable to relax or to take in pleasure.
Impulsive and self-sabotaging behaviours that are not aligned with who you want to be.
Feeling oppressed by the dominant values, not able to have a voice or a place in the world.
Not fitting into mainstream society or culture, being or feeling isolated and alienated.
Taking on other people’s emotions; Becoming overly responsible for things that happen between you.
Feeling under-stimulated or over-stressed in relationships and friendships.
Being drawn to the same type of partner/ relationship over and over, even when your needs are not met.
The fear of ‘coming out’ with your intensity, with the fear of being annihilated if you ‘stick your head out.’
Feel numb and empty most of the time, except when the emotions erupt suddenly and uncontrollably.
Existential guilt and despair, feeling hopeless and powerless in the face of uncertainties in life.
Losing touch with your intuition, and disconnecting from spirituality.
Writer/ Artist’s block; Feeling stuck and unable to reach your full potential.
“You are just difficult.”
“Stop thinking too much.”
“You are far too sensitive.”
“Why can’t you just relax ?”
“Why can’t you just let it go?”
“You worry about everything.”
“You expect too much from yourself and others.”
– Criticisms faced by intense individuals
Coaching For the Intense
My goal is to be by your side on your journey from healing to thriving. I will ask you questions that aim to spark reflections and inspiration. I am coaching you to know what your ideal life without emotional turmoils looks like, and to live a life that is aligned with your values and integrity.
We may look into your past wounds, but the goal ultimately is not to dwell in blaming, but to see if we can help you break entrenched mental blockages, and to release what needs to be forgiven. I want to help you make real changes stay, and whilst life turbulence is inevitable, to not fall back to dysfunctional patterns, compulsive behaviours, or despair.
Ultimately, we hope to see you discover your life’s mission, align with your life’s values, and to achieve your full potential both in life and your career.
What makes this work different?
1. A focus on emotional intensity, high sensitivity, and giftedness
Different from general life coaching, we will focus on helping you make sense of the experience of feeling and living with intensity. More specifically, the life themes of owning your intensity and sensitivity, living authentically, and releasing your suppressed creative potential. Our discussion may draw from a synthesis of Western psychology and Eastern healing traditions, such as:
Coaching with creative arts, Shadow work, Jungian/ Depth Psychology, Mindfulness, Buddhist Psychology, Japanese Psychology, Philosophical Coaching, Schema Work, Mentalization, Dream Analysis, Psychosynthesis, MBTI, and The Enneagram.
2. Non- pathologizing and holistic way of working
I am not against medication or psychiatry, but the traditional medical system may pathologize the most natural human expressions such as grieve the loss of connection, anxiety in a time of rapid change, or anger for injustice in the world.
Intensity, as a natural human expression, is not a pathology in itself. It is important that you honour and celebrate your unique gifts in order to live a life with vibrancy and authenticity. When you can present yourself to the world as who you truly are, you will naturally move towards liberation and self-fulfillment.
Because true progress comes from lasting changes in all aspects- physical, emotional, and behavioural, our coaching process is integrative and holistic. Instead of having a fixed, rigid modal, we will find out what works best for you.
3. Addressing the problems at their roots
Personal developmental work is not a plaster- a temporary fix, but more like good nutrition. Drip by drip, it builds you up from the inside and allows you to grow resilient in the face of the challenges life offers.
We hope to make deep and lasting shifts that dispel your struggles at their roots. This is more than just an intellectual/ cognitive process but involves changes on a physiological, emotional, and energetic level.
An eggshell looks tough on the outside but is delicate and soft on the inside. It is extremely sturdy and resilient, and the breaking of it signifies the birth of a new life. Emotional intensity is what makes you unique and powerful. Many individuals who live intensely have a lot to offer and deserve a vibrant, meaningful life.
I look forward to being on this journey with you.
To see how I conceptualize the process of therapy, here is a detailed outline. Or, for a more detailed explanation of what we may achieve in coaching, please refer to the Coaching Roadmap.
Being Emotionally Intense, Highly Sensitive and Gifted: You Are Not Alone
Human beings are social creatures. However, being exceptionally emotionally sensitive and intense may mean that you live on the margin of society. It can be challenging to meet friends who get you if you live in a remote area, but even in big cities such as London and New York, you may still feel like an outsider looking in.
With the internet, we can now find refuge in virtual connections through online research, art, music, and writing. Knowing that there are others like you— even when they are a thousand miles away- is a huge relief.
Below is a collection of stories from people who identify as being highly sensitive and emotionally intense:
A Book For Emotionally Intense and Highly Sensitive People
Debunk myths and mental health stereotypes about emotional sensitivity and intensity
- Heal from the past, let go of the shame and limited mindsets that hold you back.
- Develop resilience and find your way through challenging work, life, social, and family situations.
- Build healthy and fulfilling relationships.
- Express yourself truthfully and reach your creative potential.
Emotionally Intense, Sensitive and Gifted: From Misfit To Triumph
Up until now, you have not yet grappled with the value of your qualities. You did not get why you feel angsty, impatient, restless, and depressed with issues that other people find acceptable. The truth is,
You are a fast-moving machine in a world that does not keep up.
You are the truth seeker in groups that are complacent about hypocrisy.
Your thoughts are critical and challenging when others opt for a comfortable life.
You are a passionate lover in a culture plagued with fear and separations.
In our society, individuals who feel things deeply were pathologized, institutionalized, or were encouraged to numb out their vitality through drugs. Emotionally intense people are being held back by their internalized shame, past baggage, and existential guilt.
Sensitive and intense people are sick, weak, or ‘too fragile for the world’. It is critical that we do not collapse into the trap of pathology. Rather than shrinking and hiding and taking a smaller and smaller slice of life, by learning to ground, build the resilience you can harness your strengths.
In fact, emotionally intense people are like canaries in the coal mine. In the old days, miners sent canaries into unknown pits. If the canaries stopped singing, they knew the mine was toxic, and they would stay away. When there are woes in the world, the sensitive souls are amongst the first to take the hit. Your sadness, anxiety, rage are not wrong; they are warning signs of the world’s pain.
Your sensitivity and intensity are the doorways to your fullest potential, and you are not serving the world by playing small.
If I were to sum up my message in three sentences, they would be:
One, there is fundamentally nothing wrong with you.
Not only that, you are in a unique position to do something, create something, stand up for something.
Your sensitivity and intensity are not your hindrances, but DOORWAYS to your fullest potential.
Once you have embraced your sensitivity, intensity, and giftedness, you will realize that all along it is leading you to your own freedom and peace. You will realize that you have no other choice than to yield to what has been given to you. You will experience unspeakable peace by surrendering to what seems true to you. You can finally stop fighting, stop trying to pretend to be who you are not, or suppress and hide your sensitive and intense nature.
I look forward to going on this journey with you.